Vulnerable

Is it a phobia of being harassed!? I'm not aware but Google gave me Agraphobia that is fear of sexual abuse. Being in crowd makes me feel insecure about my security that someone may whisper something humiliating in my ear, may make the most lustful touch, make harassing gestures, their x-ray like stare makes me uneasy or rather queasy. Being on a two wheeler in traffic makes me feel vulnerable because I'm open on all sides and accessible to anyone present on that road, walking or on another vehicle. Going out on a weekend feels unsafe because of the crowd that's out to have fun; and their idea of fun is unknown and unknown is usually scary. This lack of safety makes me want to push my way through the crowd and get away as soon and as far as possible. Vulnerability makes me strong as much as it makes me weak. My fear gives me strength to fight back. It tells me I have no choice but to hold my ground. It tells me I don't afford to give in. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has gone through this state of mind. How are we going to make our women strong? Mere knowing martial arts isn't going to help. We need self-confidence and inner strength. We need positive aggression to fight back our fears. Vulnerability will prevail inside us every conscious or subconscious moment till we gather enough strength to hold ourselves up gracefully with dignity and do all we can to protect it.