Illusion of dignity

Our society dignifies our women after they are married or fully covered, home before dark or always accompanied by father, brother or husband. Is that really how we see dignity!? Is it really dignity? I see eyes seeing married women as freshly invaded vaginas, fully covered women as a trophy because her flesh in unseen and women who are home before dark and always with a male from family are a success in their attempts to keep the women suppressed. Cases of domestic violence are domestic as they seldom come out in public. In either case, a woman loses her dignity in public or in private. She starts cursing her being, way far from even dreaming of living with dignity. How does it affect a daughter's self respect when she sees her parents' struggle for a son! The other day I was watching television with my mother and one of the female characters said what hit me like an arrow.

"Humne apni nazar se khud ko dekha kab hai, humein toh bas duniya ki fikr hai ki log kya sochenge"

(When have we seen ourselves with our perspective; we are only bothered about how the society is going to judge us.)

Last week, on my way to work, I was trying to dodge my way through the crowded local market to get to the metro. I do it everyday and have been doing it since childhood so I know how to time my movements and steps to avoid nudging and collisions that may be accidental or intentional. On a turn, I consciously made a move to avoid colliding with a person going in a different direction but he made sure that he stepped on my foot somehow and the moment he stepped on it, it felt wrong, intentional and disrespectful. Does it satiate their horniness or satisfy their male ego to step on an otherwise independent woman. That dirty spot on my black shoe keeps reminding me of how I failed to retaliate to the disrespect I was shown while walking on the road to protect my dignity. To be honest, what could I do other than shouting behind his back because people like him don't stop for your reactions and just walk away with a puffed proud chest that they pulled a woman down.

To the end of time, we can and we will only fight to get our respect and dignity in vain.