Talk

Do you ever feel connected to someone you don’t know enough yet? Connected as in you like to be with them, to talk to them about random things, nothing significant! Not that you connect with them romantically but just intellectually. You do not talk about each other but everything else that matters least to you both; things about yourself that doesn’t matter to the other person at all. Talking to them gives you a sense of connection, makes you feel satisfied, fulfilled and at peace.

When you don’t get to talk to them, you start feeling uneasy as if you haven't got your regular dose of the drug you're addicted to!

At times it becomes so important to talk to someone you don’t know. Just to let out everything that’s brewing inside your head.

Just to vent out whatever is bothering your soul's peace. Not because they matter to you but for the exactly opposite reason! That they don’t matter to you at all and you don’t matter to them either. You can simply be yourself and they wont judge you and make any assumptions or prejudices. They wont have any expectations from you and you don’t have to worry about fulfilling their expectations either.

You can always feel light after talking to them over random topics and forgetting your actual worries in the process. Even if you share your troubles with them, they wont start giving you their worldly wisdom unlike when you share it with people you know. Ideal for situations when you just want to escape your best friend's preaching and just want to talk and let it all out.

They are never going to judge your morals on your mistakes or make any impression of how you are as a person.

Now coming back to where we started!!

Informally, it's like having an intellectual affair, with no romantic touch to it!

It can also be put in the category of infidelity even though you are not cheating on anybody but still you are allowing yourself to drift away from your partner on a higher level, telling yourself that its ok to not share deep stuff with your significant other, that he won't be interested anyway.

And maybe you're right! Maybe the other person would be more interested in listening to you. Maybe your guy would find your ideas, your thoughts absurd and laugh it off. Maybe he will put his much better and much thought off theory on the table. Maybe this other person is seeing things in your perspective for some other reason, things you are too naive to think of. Maybe this is how you started with your guy, talking about higher stuff. Maybe someday this chemistry between you and this stranger will end after you are not strangers anymore and you will start the same relationship with someone new!

At times I feel that this 'talking' habit is a bit dangerous! ;)

Love

For the past many ages or may be since we've known this word (or feeling), we've always been confused about what it actually is. We have had so many definitions for love and still find it undefined and are speechless about it.

When we don't know what love is, we wouldn't know how to find it, where to look for it, how to recognize it so our inability to define it is justified.

But for those who have it, even they are unable to describe it, everyone has their own definition, their own version of love

so how exactly do you define and give words to a feeling so important and yet so simple and complex at the same time.

Just like everyone else, I also have my own idea of love.

Unlike what they say in films and TV, it doesn't make your world go round but makes you forget the world. A feeling where nothing matters but only doing everything to get to spend as much time possible with that person, to make every moment count. It doesn't matter if you spend hours or just an hour but you want to make it memorable and special. No matter how many years have you spent together but you still want to have quality time every time you see them. So, in short you just want to have good time together always and make every second a memory.

To make sure that whenever possible you make the other person feel how you feel about them. To tell them how special they are to you. To tell them that you will always be beside them if not behind or in front covering them.

To tell them to keep making mistakes and assuring that you'll take care of the rest.

Love is someone who will never call you hideous. Someone to mean when they say that they'll fix everything, they'll protect you from everything including self destructive you. Someone to tell you to take life easy and not just ask you to share your burden but simply take it away from you so  you'll never have to worry again.

Someone who will stay with you like your shadow when you ask them to leave, being with  you all the time but letting you have your own space and just be available when you need them. Someone who will make time for you in their busiest of days and value the time you make out from your day.

If you were betrayed by an impersonator once, don't give up on love and it will make its own way to you. If you forgot love because you were let down earlier, it will come looking for you.

People say that love is for the lucky and the strong; I may not have been lucky as yet but I'm strong enough to not let my hope die!

I'm not going to hate you but love the love more so it will have to come to me and wont even try escaping me.

Color therapy

RED: Loving him deeply and passionately

PINK: That sweet feeling when he tries to do everything to make me smile when I'm down

YELLOW: Having him around as a friend

WHITE: Peaceful time spent with him

PEACH: His care and bother

GREEN: Always dreaming about him and imagining him around

ORANGE: All the sweet & sour memories we built together

BLUE: Remembering all the pain he caused

PURPLE: Losing him

GREY: Forgetting him

BLACK: Hatred ignited by his monsters


Life has a lot more colors than we can even imagine! What color would it be about all the confused feelings inside you? Can you really allocate a color to every feeling, every emotion. And you thought that rainbow is the most colorful thing created by God! I don't think so. ;)

Presence

Sitting on a chair alone in a room full of people, not bothered by anything or anyone, no one to disturb the stream of thoughts flowing or rather storming my mind since mine is one of the most restless minds. Not noticing anyone around, nobody entering or leaving the room can break in the flow. But suddenly he enters the room and the flow is broken, mind is blank, heartbeat raised and eyes looking in his direction only. Feeling conscious, trying to avoid to look at him but can't help stealing a look every now and then, even though there's a strange fear that he may see me looking at him. He has all my attention but I need his. Quite frequently, he caught me looking at him when I pretended to be lost in thoughts with a straight face and breath held before getting back to my writing. It's like a connection between us that takes me where he is already and moves me in his direction without me having to know about his whereabouts. Will he ever read my face and realize how much I want him and how insanely his presence affects me!! It's crazy how his presence makes me feel. It's too strong and flawless that I don't have to find him but his presence finds me! Sigh!!

Little happiness

Have you ever done something that gave you a little happiness! Anything which  gave you immense happiness but was as little as going for a walk, listening to a melody or may be just planting a tree! Last month I got my THAT moment! I was really happy to have got to be a part of a friend's 'little happiness'. In everybody's life, there comes a day when you feel the basic happiness, coming from within, emanating from every aspect of  your being, every pore of your body. I got to accompany my friend and his family in planting a tree in their father's memory. A man who loved nature like mother and plants and trees as his own children; who had nurtured an Ashoka tree in front of his house guarding it against the whole world. An otherwise peaceful person, fought everyone to save the tree. How that moment of being with his children, planting his favorite tree, in the holy environment of a nearby gurdwara, made me feel like a part of their family. And it is this little happiness that makes you feel whole and at the same time question yourself if you really deserve all this in your life. THAT little moment is as depressing as it is elevating. So, never regret anything lost or done in your life and move on to better things, better deeds, taking previous ones as lessons and willing to make a difference in someone's life.

Happiness!

What is happiness?! A feeling experienced when we get something that we really wanted or when with people or someone we love! Isn't it? But doesn't that make our happiness vulnerable! Vulnerable to situations when we may just lose something we had or after a fight with our dear ones..

Isn't is supposed to be a pure feeling free from all the longings, something that  comes from within to overcome all other negative feelings, instead we just let our negative feelings overtake our  happiness and let ourselves flow with it.

Our happiness vanishes in thin air the moment we see something that gets on our nerves and we prefer to be angry over being happy!

How come happiness became a rare feeling, since when we had to struggle for it, a feeling that people have forgotten entirely about

People go places searching for it, do all kind of unusual things but never look inside themselves to have a glimpse of it or may be they have just buried it deep down somewhere that they cant scrape it out

Isn't it something as simple as loving yourself (is it really that simple?!) and not letting the world affect it, protect it like your baby or is it so hard to love yourself because of all the ugly things you've been doing in an illusion of happiness and now find it hard to even like a bit of your own soul let alone loving yourself!

Is happiness really that complex at all or just a puzzle which we could solve better as kids but are now clueless about it and have just entangled ourselves into it trying to get through it like an ant caught in cobweb.

Or may be only if we could complicate our lives a little less and stop running after the butterfly of happiness then who knows it may just come and sit on our shoulders giving our souls a piece of peace it deserves. :)

Wobbling trust in Humanity

Makes me sad to see how unsafe it is getting for women with every passing day, how we take a step towards development but a lot many steps in the opposite direction by disrespecting and disgracing a woman's modesty. Today there's not a single female in this country who's not a victim of harassment; a child who's a few years old, a school going girl, a working woman or a lady in her 60s.

Is it as a result of some kind of insecurity among men that women will take away their throne of being the dominant one in our society after beating them in every other possible field!

And by the end of the day it's a girl to be blamed for staying out till late night, for drinking, for dressing 'inappropriately' and being 'irresponsible'! Why can't girls go out and have fun like any other GUY!?

By the way, who defines the appropriate dress up and 'safe' time to stay out for a female? MEN!! Men, who can't stop ogling at women irrespective of time or place when they 'spot' them!

It's getting more like dictatorship, stay-home-if-you-want-to-stay-safe!! Who has the right to so-called punish a girl for having fun with her friends at night!

The other day I read a comment on Youtube which said "whatever happened with the girl in Guwahati was bad but the girl's character would also be the same, I'm sure!". Isn't that amazing!!

Youtube link to the video recorded by guys who molested the girl during the act: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJCiBsex4jw

How would a mother feel whose son is on the run for raping a girl, a sister whose brother was spineless to have respected some other girl and timid to accept it.

You are a testosterone driven breed, why don't you use it for the nation, to protect that woman who was being humiliated on the street and you ignored it rather than using it for stripping her modesty. Your sister faces it too everyday, how would you have felt if the girl who was beaten and undressed was your girl friend or sister!?

Awaken your conscience, if not for someone else, stop for women in your life, your precious girl can be next!

A woman is blessed with the ability to stand pain way more than a strong muscular man, to give birth to a new life and they are made that way to be respected and not to be used as an object of lust and amusement.

It's outrageous and makes me sick and I know everyone (every girl and every DIGNIFIED guy) will echo my thoughts!