काश...

काश हम भी अपना दिल हल्का कर पाते
काश तुमसे अपने दिल की बात कह पाते
काश ना रहते चुप, ना रहते ऐसे घुटके
तुमसे लड़ पाते, रो पाते, शिकायत कर पाते
ना रहते यूँ सुन्न
कि अब अपनी धड़कन भी सुनाई नही देती
पर तुम्हारे ख्याल से आज भी सांस रुक जाती है
काश तुम्हे भुलाना इतना आसान होता
जितनी आसानी से तुमने भुला दिया
ये सच है कि तुमने साथ दिया
पर कैसे भूल जाये जो तुम ठुकरा के चल दिये
हमने तो कभी मुँह नहीं मोड़ा
फिर कैसे पत्थर दिल बोल दिया
बस चाहा कि तुम्हे हो गलती का एहसास
तुमने तो हमें ही सज़ा सुना दी
आखिर तक किया इंतज़ार तुम्हारा 

हम तो आज भी उसी उजड़े चमन में खड़े हैं
इंतज़ार नहीं किसी का भी अब
आँखों ने बंद किया रस्ता देखना अब
हैं आज भी कई सवाल पर तुमसे जवाब की उम्मीद नहीं
जो कहानी चुपचाप शुरू हुई , वैसी ही शांति से खत्म भी हो गई
उसके बीच में जो मधुर संगीत हमने बनाया, वो किसी ने नहीं सुना
हमें प्यार करना तुम्हारी गलती थी , तुम्हें ना भुला पाना हमारी
अलग होना हम दोनों की, लो अब हिसाब बराबर
हर बार तुमने कहीं  ना जाने का वादा किया
पर मुझे था यकीन तुम्हारे जाने का
कभी कमज़ोर नहीं पड़ी , और ना आज पड़ूँगी
अपना आज कैसे अपना पाऊँगी
अगर कल से ही जूझती रहूंगी
सोचा अब तेरे बारे में लिखना बंद करुँ
सोचा अब अलविदा कहुँ।

Supplement

Supplements.

You never need it but you create a need anyway.

Then you become an addict, you need it all the time that the supplement starts to feel it's a part of your life.

Then one fine day, someone walks in to remind you that your life doesn't depend on it and you can do much better with the real stuff. That brings an end to your relationship with the supplements, you replace it with other ingredients that fulfill your needs, whereas supplements don't have an alternative, they lie discarded somewhere in a bin.

Being humans, our habits reflect in everything that we do: we use supplements to feel better, we have people to feel better; we get addicted to supplements, we get addicted to people; we replace supplements, we replace people, we discard supplements.

29 and single

I'm 29 and still single. Because of him. By single I don't mean unmarried because marriage anyway has no importance in my life; it's just an eligibility criteria to live with someone.

I'm not missing on anything in my life, I'm living it pretty well. But there's an absence of a friend that I had in him. He defined something that no one else can fit in. He left a vacuum that leaves me breathless.

Since his betrayal, I haven't been able to trust anyone with myself. I have no one to share all the good things with. No one who'd be genuinely happy for my success, who'd give me a true smile on seeing me. No one who'd  make me feel valued. He may laugh at me but he'll also cry with me. Today, it's not just the well of my eyes but hormones in my deep belly that have dried up. Emotional and physical sensations and needs have gone numb.

No empathy, all bare piercing fingers pointing at me. Declaring himself clean and me the ugliest of all, to live with guilts I didn't earn. If someone you felt so deep with can walk out on you, then who else can you trust to stay.

Scare 'em

You wanna scare them?

You gotta know their weakness...

Cut your hair short,

Color it bold,

Let it down.

Get a tattoo that's not a butterfly or his name,

Something that defines you and your faith.

Wear high heels,
Wear red lipstick,
Wear your eyebrows high.

Stand tall,
Keep your shoulders square,
Look them in the eye.

Have an opinion,
Speak your mind,
Pursue your heart.

Embrace your awesomeness,

Don't be modest,

Don't settle for less,

Ask for what you deserve,

Be fearless.

To add grace and glory to all of it, always wear a smile. It breaks 'em.