Once upon a time

Once upon a time, there was me and you. Too perfect that no one could imagine us apart. People who didn't know about us, could picture us together without any imperfections. Too perfect, that my friends asked me how we made it last and wishing that they had the same thing. Our laughter invited envy! Today, I look at people and wonder why couldn't WE make it last. They were nothing like us, but they still achieved what we failed at.

Yes, I'm stuck on you. I can't detach myself despite of all the ugly things you said to me, I can't let go of all the good things we shared.

You cursed me that I'll be lonely forever and I am, not because I don't have anyone but I choose to be. There's no one I can talk to about you, who to tell I still want you.

Everytime I close my eyes and imagine a partner, I can't help but see your face. You were not perfect, neither was I but no one seems to have a fraction of what you were, the connection we shared.

They say when two people are meant to be together, the devil does everything in its capacity to pull them apart and we let that devil win or maybe we weren't meant to be together. If we weren't meant to be, then why did it feel so right, so perfect.

I can't even seem to distract myself. All my needs were with you, my emotional needs were killed years ago, my physical needs are suppressed. I fail to satisfy my physical needs, I keep pulling back, my mind is never off you. I don't let anyone enter that part of me where I let them access my innermost sensitive point.

Your kiss made me feel what no one could make me feel since then but I still can't forget the last time you kissed me and the pain of realization that I didn't want to kiss you back. Kissing you under the rain was the best thing that happened to me. You're a loss I can't replace.

You may deny it but I did what I could to protect it, my dignity is what I can't compromise on and you failed to keep it intact. How can I spend my life with someone who can't fulfill my basic hunger of being respected.

There was immense love, where did I go wrong. You loved me, believed in me and my dreams but you didn't respect me. A little respect is all that I asked for.

You always left me in the middle of the road, and I kept waiting forever, I'm still standing right there but the tragedy is you are gone forever and I'm not waiting, I want you but I don't want you to come back. I don't want that misery in my life. I couldn't choose happily never after willingly and I still won't. I went numb the night you left me in a miserable condition, the funny part is I still shared that orange with you, still let you drive me to work. And I still went to work and I couldn't help a tear rolling down the moment my nose pin fell and I realized that it's broken.

Surprisingly, in the days that followed, your indifference made you a victim again of my indifference.

I could spend a life of struggles with you, but I can't spend a life being ill-treated. You took me for granted and the irony is you never realized and you never will.

It's been so long and I still can't trust someone with my love. Only if I was a princess and life was a fairytale!

For me, there's no one like you but eventually I WILL either compromise on my needs or only God knows, I might find someone fine enough or better probably. Someone who will treat me like a human, I'm sure.