What is it that I want, really? I want to be loved but I don't want to love. I care for but I don't expect the same in return. Maybe because I'm afraid of heartaches. But I've always been like that, even as a young girl who had been with someone for over four years.
I want to spend my life with someone and yet be on my own terms and have my own space. I want to get involved but do not belong to anyone. There was a time when people belonged to each other but they were never involved because they were tied to each other without their will. Saying that it was against their will would be incorrect because they barely had any.
Am I becoming one of those I've always hated, those who'd do anything in the name of being independent, modern and free. Yes, I'm independent, modern and rational. I haven't bound myself with conventions yet I'm traditional. I don't believe in irrational superstitions yet I'm religious. I welcome suggestions and healthy discussions but I don't want to be told what to do.
Is it unacceptable for someone to enjoy their own company, antisocial to want to stay alone, cold to want to sleep alone?
