Who am I?
Was it when I was with you? Is it what I am today? Why didn't I do things I do today when I was with you? Did you not let me be me? Was I afraid that you'll leave me? Was I never comfortable with you, never me? Could I not open up? What do I really like and dislike? Why don't I like things I used to love once? Have I finally realized my real self? Will I be able to retain this just-realized-identity once I'm married to someone? Will I have to find myself all over again? Is life all about finding yourself infinite times? Don't we have one identity? Why do we keep changing? Is it adaptation, confusion or lost identity?
If I'm real today, then what we had wasn't real! Why can't I still digest the fact that it wasn't meant to be! If you couldn't bring out the real me, how could you be The One!? If it's not you, why I wasted my real feelings! How did I let it happen? Is that a part of finding yourself? Is this a process, a vicious circle? Keep losing yourself to find yourself all over again!
Why weren't things this hard when we were kids? Why are they so complex today? Will they be same forever? Or is it just a part of growing up? When do we grow up if we haven't grown yet after crossing about a third of our lives?
Why does it remind me of the song by Christina Aguilera (ft. A Great Big World)
Say something I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would have followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you
And I, will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
I'm saying goodbye
Say something I'm giving up on you
Was it when I was with you? Is it what I am today? Why didn't I do things I do today when I was with you? Did you not let me be me? Was I afraid that you'll leave me? Was I never comfortable with you, never me? Could I not open up? What do I really like and dislike? Why don't I like things I used to love once? Have I finally realized my real self? Will I be able to retain this just-realized-identity once I'm married to someone? Will I have to find myself all over again? Is life all about finding yourself infinite times? Don't we have one identity? Why do we keep changing? Is it adaptation, confusion or lost identity?
If I'm real today, then what we had wasn't real! Why can't I still digest the fact that it wasn't meant to be! If you couldn't bring out the real me, how could you be The One!? If it's not you, why I wasted my real feelings! How did I let it happen? Is that a part of finding yourself? Is this a process, a vicious circle? Keep losing yourself to find yourself all over again!
Why weren't things this hard when we were kids? Why are they so complex today? Will they be same forever? Or is it just a part of growing up? When do we grow up if we haven't grown yet after crossing about a third of our lives?
Why does it remind me of the song by Christina Aguilera (ft. A Great Big World)
Say something I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would have followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you
And I, will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
I'm saying goodbye
Say something I'm giving up on you
It isn't about whether we grew up or still trying to, It's about how we grew up. Life as a kid is easier because all we have to care about is what or what not to eat, play, read, wear. It's not about when to pay bills, how to support family, what to be, how to be, when to marry, and when to move on. But adulthood brings these questions along. Yes methods or ways are different, but we all struggle through this. So yes it is a part of growing up, but it is certainly our choice if we want to keep our innocence and child like pure heart intact, or bring maturity in everything and kill the child inside you. The child that we probably never want to ignore and suffocate, but we do. It is not mere our thinking, it is our actions - our choices that decide who we are, and who we will be in future.
ReplyDeleteHence, we change. We change every passing day because we make life changing decisions. We love slow songs one day and fast rock songs the other day. Because life is all about change. It is about finding things about yourself that you haven't yet. Honestly there are thousands of things that you are capable of, but you may not know about them until and unless. You are in a situation to bring it out.
Can one person really find himself or herself? Who knows! For me life brings twists and turns. It has secret paths to reveal and to be walked on. Not necessarily always pleasant, but it is this aspect of life that makes it interesting. Now whether we complain about that path, or enjoy considering it just another path, and wait for the next, it is our own personal choice.
In the process of growing up, we are only looking forward to be adults step out of childhood because it's a new phase for us and as a kid we were only excited about new and forgot about the old. It's a natural tendency that we have inhibited in ourselves throughout childhood and once we step over the threshold to enter adulthood from childhood, we leave behind a lot more than we should. In order to adapt to this ever changing grown up world, we forget what we were till then.
DeleteLife indeed brings twists and turns and it is our choice to either crib about it or go with the flow. Only if we were still excited about the phases in life, we would have embraced every change and find new avenues instead of holding on to the past.
You are right, it's all about change. Like I said, lose yourself to find yourself all over again.